Emotional validation is a cornerstone of healthy relationships and a key element of a popular type of talk therapy known as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It can be difficult to validate a loved one during emotionally-charged conversations, however, when it’s done correctly, emotional validation can defuse conflict and create a safe space for vulnerability and connection.
When someone opens up to you about something they’re struggling with, it takes a lot of courage to do so. It’s a major step that many partners take in their relationship and you don’t want to do anything to dismiss that. Saying things like “You’re overreacting” or “You’re being silly” is an example of emotional invalidation. This can send the message that their feelings aren’t important and causes them to feel unheard, misunderstood, or dismissed.
A response that includes elements of emotional validation is “I can see why you’re upset.” It identifies the specific emotion and shows empathy for it. It also shows that you understand their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it.
You can demonstrate your ability to emotionally validate by mirroring their facial expressions or using phrases like, “I can see how that would be frustrating” or “it sounds as though you’re struggling.” It can also be helpful to ask questions about their experience and what’s causing them to feel that way rather than making statements like, “You’re just being crazy.” Emotional validation in relationships